Moody March

Recently I have started to try and track my mood on a daily basis – something I was insanely motivated to do during what I’m certain was an episode of hypomania.

I excitedly cooked up bright, colour-coded charts in my head that could be translated into monthly graphs – confident that clear patterns would soon begin to emerge from my raw data. It all seemed so genius and flawless at the time. Now… not so much.

I’m having real trouble maintaining it lately as I struggle to pin down my overall mood. Some days I experience more than one mood (more like 100 – okay I’m exaggerating but you get what I mean), and some days I feel completely numb and “moodless”. I have no clue what my normal is. 

Perhaps I’ve oversimplified it and need to add more categories to my chart, although that would make it harder to graph. I want to keep going with it because I know that keeping a log (or at least trying to) can be beneficial, but I’m now obsessing over whether I’m doing it effectively.

Sheesh. My brain is thoroughly boggled. 

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9 thoughts on “Moody March

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  1. I like that you’ve created your own chart. And it’s so colorful. Well, bipolar disorder is kind of a colorful illness anyway, isn’t it?

    I used to chart my moods on a mood charting website. It was helpful. I stopped quite a while ago. I then only really used it to track my menstrual periods – LOL! It even included a journaling section, though I journal elsewhere.

    I agree that it is sometimes hard to pick a mood level. Sometimes when I’m a little depressed I’m in a little denial and say I’m stable. I do the same thing in the opposite direction. I have tracked moderate hypomanias on the day of. Full blown manias usually have to be tracked once they’re over.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha it certainly is a colourful illness. Erratic as hell too.

      I journal every day, and track my menstrual cycle too (as if I don’t have enough mood fluctuations without adding hormones into the mix *eye roll*).

      I definitely know what you mean about the denial thing. Sometimes I’m like no I’m totally fine but then look back and realize I actually wasn’t. Other days I’m like maybe this is my normal… up, down and all around so fast my head spins. Haha. I’ve never experienced mania (I have bipolar II).

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Pacifica is awesome. I used Mood Panda for a week, and it started annoying me, lol. Pacifica even has meditations, journal entries, CBT tools, etc. I like it so much that I purchased the premium version, which is cheap and even better. But either way, it’s a great and beautiful little app. I have mine set to remind me to record my mood every day, and I share the data with my therapist, psychiatrist and doctor, in a convenient PDF.

        Liked by 1 person

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