Sleeplessness

IMG_0890.JPGThe days cycle, without end. Blurring at the edges I play pretend at living as an adult. Some days I’m excellent at the game. Some days I lose.

There are so many things I want to be good at… I could be good at. I lack the will to put in the work and so… I… float. Like a jellyfish.

The lows turn into highs that I feverishly (and foolishly) climb… only to fall down the other side again. And on and on it goes…

I crave connection. I find it hiding in unlikely places, but it always burns out eventually.

Would that I could be a real jellyfish. Blissfully brainless, floating.

To sort through the mess of the mind requires motivation. I come up short. Always. What I lack in substance I make up for with words.

So. Many. Words.

Useless. Taking up space. More shit to sift through. Where do people find the energy to be over achievers?

Validation. Validation. Validation. 

I think I’m brilliant, but do you? Do you?

I think I’m nothing… do you?

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